No one speaks to us more than ourselves. Day in and day out, each and every one of us is intertwined in an internal dialogue that is either uplifting, compassionate, and positive, or hurtful, limiting, and negative. Most of us probably teeter on the line of both, but ideally, we should be seeking to stay on the more positive side most, if not all, of the time.
Since we’re the ones we speak with most often, we’re the ones that have the most influence over ourselves in every area of life. Meeting goals, gaining confidence, and cultivating healthy relationships, everything starts and ends in our own minds. With a little bit of intention and awareness, we can do our best to make sure that we’re not our own worst enemies.
We all inherit our inner dialogues from the people and the world around us. Every situation, circumstance, and conversation we experience, either in the first or third person, influences what we believe and, therefore, how we interact with ourselves and the world. Since this has been something you’ve been cultivating your entire life, it won’t be easily cleared, transmuted, and replaced, BUT I have some simple and practical tips to help you get started.
Awareness really is most of the work. You can’t change specific beliefs, phrases, and words until you’re aware that they are present and causing problems. So, for now, the best thing you can do is simply pay attention to your inner dialogue.
- What is the ruling tone/emotion?
- Is it helpful or hurtful?
- Positive or negative?
- Would you speak to your friend’s sweet grandmother who just baked you cookies this way?
- Would you speak to a playful, innocent child like this and be proud of it?
- Does it speak raw truth, or is it jumping to conclusions?
Once you notice your inner dialogue and any harm it may be causing to you, and what you wish to accomplish in this life, you can begin to flip it into something more helpful.
Flipping the script
Now that you’re well versed in noticing any problems that may be coming up, especially the frequent flyers, you can begin flipping the script on them. This just means reworking them into something more helpful and positive.
Catch yourself speaking negatively about yourself? Point out where it isn’t true and throw in some words of affirmation too. For example, you’re not “lazy”; you’re tired from the pressure the world (and yourself) puts on you. You’re never “dumb” you just made an honest mistake and/or didn’t know. None of us know anything until we do, and it’s impossible to know anything until we learn. Make sure you always meet yourself with kindness, compassion, and love.
Be sure you’re not assigning assumptions to how others act with you. Unless they specifically express that you did something to offend them, it’s never your fault. It has to do with their own internal battles, and you have nothing to do with that unless they express a desire in your help and comfort.
Likewise, be sure that any beliefs you’re operating under are helpful ones. Note I said “helpful” and not “true.” Truth is relative in many and most instances, and if you’ve always dreamed of becoming an artist by career, you’re never going to get there if you believe “artists don’t make money until they’re dead.”